Team America World Police
January 24, 2007 
“I was just a boy when the infidels came to my village in their black hawk helicopters. The infidels fired at the oil fields and they lit up like the eyes of Allah. Burning oil rained down from the sky and cooked everything it touched. I could only hide myself and cry as my goats were consumed by the fiery hot liquid death. In the midst of the chaos, I could swear that I heard my goats, screaming for help. As quickly as they’d come the infidels were gone. It was on that day, I put a Jihad on them. And if you don’t believe it, you better kill me now, because I’ll put a Jihad on you too.”
_Gary Johnston
Team America World Police
Hilarious
Team America World Police
January 19, 2007 
ONE OF THE GREATEST MOVIE QUOTES OF ALL TIME…
Gary- “We’re Dicks. We’re reckless arrogant stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jung Il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way. The only thing that can fuck and asshole is a dick…with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn’t appropriate.”
Spotswood- “Yes Gary. Yes.”
Gary- “And it takes a pussy to show them that. But sometimes pussies get so full of shit they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes. I don’t know much in this crazy, crazy world. But I do know that if you don’t let us fuck this asshole, we are going to have our dicks, and our pussies, all covered in shit.”
Gary
Team America World Police
Wayne’s World
January 19, 2007 
Glenn- “Anything wrong Davie?”
Davie- “Yeah. I got paid today.”
G- “Oh yeah. I know what that’s like.”
D- “No. You don’t understand. They laid me off. I got one a these.”
G- “Yeah. I know how that feels.”
D- “You know what I’d like to do?”
G- “YEAH I KNOW WHAT YOU’D LIKE TO DO. YOU’D LIKE TO FIND THE GUY THAT DID IT. RIP HIS STILL BEATING HEART OUT OF HIS CHEST AND HOLD IT IN FRONT OF HIS FACE, SO HE CAN SEE HOW BLACK IT IS BEFORE HE DIES.”
D- “Actually, I was thinking about filing a grievance with the union.”
G- “Well the world’s a twisted place.”
Glenn, manager of Stan Mikita’s Doughnuts
Wayne’s World
It is what it is…
Once upon a time, a woman was picking up firewood. She came upon a poisonous snake frozen in the snow. She took the snake home and nursed it back to health. One day, the snake bit her on the cheek. As she lay dying, she asked the snake, “Why have you done this to me?” And the snake answered, “Look bitch, you knew I was a snake.”
Natural Born Killers.
Daily Movie Quote
“Life does not stop and start at your convenience you miserable piece of shit….”
Walter Sobcheck
The Big Lebowski
